Do I or don’t I?
Have you ever found that when you decide to take a nudge in a more active ‘me’-direction, it’s surprising how everything else seems to follow and fall into place? There’s something about catching that positive energy wave at the right moment and once you’re on, how it gets you focussed.
I wouldn’t say I’m an inactive person but I like a good balance. I think that’s when I’m happiest, like when I’m having a splash in the bath after an extensive morning run with my dog (I like to pretend the hour or two of housework quickly shuffled around before the kids take off for school was part of a hazy dream, a waking-up ritual somewhere between this world and that) with the prospect of an entire afternoon of unadulterated time, just me and my writing stretching ahead, hours of creative me-time before the house fills with demanding everyone-else-time. That is when I can honestly say I am at my best. Now, this may well be different for everyone, you might find a chat with a friend inspiring, or a shopping spree, a karaoke session with your budgie, or stealing a moment on the toilet to read an article you’ve set aside but whatever it is, how is it that we often forget to do whatever it is that makes us happy?
I know, I know, you may well be thinking, duh it’s obvious, the kids, work, deadlines, the shopping, the bills. The list is endless. The procrastination list – yep and there it is that annoying, clichéd p-word, but, lets face it, that’s exactly what it is or, I wonder, could it be something else, something deeper? A fear perhaps of failing?
It’s been pointed out to me that everything we do is a choice. Everything: Do I want to read or watch The Kardashians? (yes, I’m baring myself here so there you have it, once I’m in escapist mode, the News, I’m afraid are not what I’m after) Do I want to walk the dog for the gazillionth time or rather drive to the corner shop for a bar of chocolate?
Do I want to write my blog or don’t I?
It’s a simple enough decision. One would think. Of course I don’t always reckon with my ‘inner junkie’ (see Kardashians above) and I’m not going to get into the psychoanalytical side of it here but ultimately it’s easier, isn’t it, to go for the ‘lazy’ option – I mean who doesn’t like a good nap on the sofa in-between to-do’s to forget even for a moment. You may not want to read on if this doesn’t hit home as then you’re likely to be one of the other kind of people, the type that is continuously on the move, doing stuff, being active and productive as it’s your second nature as if you just don’t have a choice.
For us other people, well, it’s not. I don’t know about you, but I have processed so many ideas and dreams which have left me immobile a lot of the time and that have then been forgotten and now years later they appear again, possibly slightly changed but still clear. And I just can’t accept the fact that I won’t ever get ‘there.’ Even though I have tried to start out a fair number of times.
I believe the dreams persist for a reason, because, even after all this time, some of them still mean something to me. And I just want to see if I can do it (who knows if I manage to fulfil one dream then maybe a second one is do-able too?) And I believe fulfilling these dreams even after all this time, can be learned. At least I’m not giving up on that hope. Even if it means starting again. And again.
So, why do I think that this time will be different? Why will I write my blog and not give up again after a few weeks fiddling around with the theme, posting the odd thoughts? Why will I not let life get in the way again?
Here is what I’ve changed:
1. YES: To begin with I’ve decided I want to write my blog and I want to take it seriously as a part of my writing plans. I’ve committed.
2. I’ve found a fabulous course run by a creative and inspiring blogger whose energy is catching, which helps me focus and define how I want to run my blog.
3. I’ve met other new bloggers on that course that inspire me and with whom I feel we can learn together so that way I don’t feel quite so alone plus I feel I can get help.
4. I’ve allocated a realistic amount of time for this project (this has taken a bit of experimenting, which I will write about next week) that works within my schedule and written it down as a plan (a life-changing pointer I learned from an amazing writer and tutor).
5. Finally, I am using instagram to help me look around and see what everyday situations can be interesting, inspiring, useful and thought-provoking for my writing so that even when I’m doing the ‘boring stuff’ I’m thinking ‘creative’ in terms of photos and possible blog posts.
So, there you go, isn’t it funny how one decision to take action, to take my blog seriously has helped me to be more positive about the things in my life that are necessary but usually not all that fun and that I’ve used as an excuse not to act on my creative dreams. Add a bit of structured help and hey presto, I see this as the beginning. I start from where I am today, with the knowledge and experience I possess at this moment, however far I am.
The nice thing about it, to me, is that one thing leads to the next. I’ve also been working in stuttered attempts on my first novel and so it follows that my next question to myself is: Do I want to finish my novel or not? I’ll let you know how I’m getting on and in the meantime I’d love to know:
What is your question? I’d be interested to know whether you think that a bit of structure will help you to rekindle those dreams you still want to work on and whether my starters list could help inspire you to get you started. And if you like these ideas then you might want to follow my instagram for everyday ideas that inspire me 🙂
Hope to see you again next week,